Dissociation: The Strategy of Distance

Dissociation is a psychological mechanism designed to protect the mind from experiences that are too intense to process in real time. It is not a sign of "losing your mind"; it is a highly effective way that the brain manages unbearable pain or terror by compartmentalizing it. Whether it shows up as a clinical disorder or a subclinical "checking out," dissociation is a structural solution to an impossible situation.

The Spectrum of Disconnection

Dissociation exists on a continuum. You may recognize it as a persistent sense of detachment or a fragmentation of your experience:

• Depersonalization: Feeling like a spectator in your own life, as if you are watching yourself from outside your body or through a pane of glass.

• Derealization: A sense that the world around you is unreal, foggy, or "off," making it difficult to feel connected to your environment or the people in it.

• Structural Fragmentation: Internal conflict between different "versions" of yourself that seem to have different memories, emotions, or ways of reacting.

• Adaptive Numbing: A subclinical habit of "going away" mentally during stress, conflict, or intimacy, which can leave you feeling chronically bored, empty, or ungrounded.

The Objective: Integration and Presence

The goal of therapy is not to "stop" dissociating by force. Dissociation is a protector; if we simply try to strip it away, the system will feel exposed and likely double down on the defense.

My approach focuses on increasing your window of tolerance so that presence becomes a safer option than distance. We work on:

1. Somatic Stabilization: Building the capacity to stay in your body by identifying the early physiological cues that signal a "shut down" is coming.

2. Internal Mapping: Understanding the different parts of your system that utilize dissociation and addressing the specific fears or wounds they are guarding.

3. Sub-cortical Processing: Using targeted methods to resolve the underlying traumatic charge that makes the present moment feel so threatening that the brain chooses to leave it.

Moving Toward Agency

Living with dissociation feels like living in a fragmented world where you are never fully "there." Recovery is the process of reclaiming your capacity for presence. We move at a pace that respects your system's need for safety, focusing on the shift from automatic disconnection to intentional engagement.

If you are tired of feeling like you are observing your life rather than living it, I provide the clinical framework to help you navigate the way back to yourself.